We live in a culture of selfies. We live in a culture of narcissism. We live in a culture of shame. It’s crazy to think that those three things are linked. What does my selfie have to do with being narcissistic? Why is my selfie being used as a way to bring shame on myself and others?
I would like to take the time to define for you all what exactly a selfie is. A selfie is a “self-generated digital photographic portraiture, spread primarily via social media” (Seft, Baym, 2015). In laymen’s terms, it is a photo you take of yourself and upload it to social media. I actually quite enjoy taking selfies – before a night out, when I do my makeup particularly nicely or just when I want to capture a moment to remember it.
However, I hardly ever post my selfies on social media.
It’s not like there’s not photos of myself on my social media, it’s just that I don’t feel confident enough to post photos of myself that weren’t candidly taken by someone else because I feel like people will think I am narcissistic and self-obsessed. So then why do I take selfies if I’m not sharing them with the world?
- To celebrate individualism.
Instagram is an amazing photo sharing platform, however, there is a certain ‘aesthetic’ that one needs to fit into. Bold eyebrows, long eyelashes, those Kylie Jenner lips, strong contouring … all things the average girl is not able to achieve normally. These images are basically shoved down our throats through marketing and social media and it is hard to not be influenced and impacted by it.
I feel as though women (or men, for that matter) don’t get the right to define what makes them beautiful. John Berger (1970) states “Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at.” Where is the lie?! As women in the 21st century, we are told what to wear, eat, and what accessories we need to be conveyed as beautiful or successful.
I take selfies to celebrate that sometimes my hair looks funny and my eyebrows are uneven. I don’t look like those girls on Instagram and that’s okay. Taking selfies and not putting them on social media makes me feel like I have defined my own standard of beauty and that’s empowering.
2. Identity.
When I take a selfie of myself, it’s exactly that – it’s me. I take photos to celebrate that I have imperfections and flaws, but that’s what makes up my identity. Dr Terri Apter from Cambridge University describes the action of taking selfies as “a kind of self-definition.”
I take selfies with my piano, because I love playing piano and music and so that defines part of myself. I take selfies with my dog, because he’s cute and I adore him.
Selfies help define our identity, and it’s not narcissistic to do this.
3. To stick it to the man.
Last year, the ‘famous for being famous’ Kim Kardashian posted a couple a selfies where she was completely nude. The patriarch-driven media went crazy, as seen here, here and here.
Why is it such a big deal? When I look at these photos, I see a confident woman that isn’t afraid of what the media thinks. I think it’s something to aspire to – being that comfortable in your own skin. I’m not saying we should post photos of ourselves nude, but we should follow Kim’s example and just not care what anyone thinks.
Our bodies are our own, and it should not be up to anyone else but ourselves to decide what we do with them.
….
To wrap up, I feel like selfies are not as big of a deal as people make them out to be. Our generation is not a narcissistic one, it’s one that recognises the need for self-love and acknowledging our flaws but accepting them as a part of our identities. There is no shame in taking photos of yourself and posting them, or not posting them.
So go stick it to the man, take photos of yourself when you look good, ugly and everything in between!
Megan.
References
Senft, Theresa. Baym, Nancy. 2015 “What Does the Selfie Say? Investigating a Global Phenomenon.”
Ogden, Monica. 2016. “Why I Selfie | Fistful of Feminism”
Megan Lobo 